Awakening the Artist Within

The Moment My Soul Declared, “You ARE an Artist!”

This is the story of how I claimed my artist’s path—and an invitation for you to listen to what your soul is whispering to you.

Like many kids, I loved to color. I can still remember the joy of receiving a huge box of Crayola crayons with 64 shades of magic waiting to burst across the page. I thought I’d gone to heaven with all those colors at my fingertips, waiting for me to choose which one to sweep across my paper. Even then, I was unknowingly awakening my inner artist, finding quiet connection and mindfulness through the simple act of coloring.

Even when I went to high school, I continued to color. Back in the dark ages of the late 70s, society considered coloring “childish” and an activity only for children. Adult coloring books didn’t exist—at least not in my small town in Northern Utah. I had to create my own coloring pages.

Reconnecting with Creativity Through Coloring

I created what I called “Thunderbirds,” using graph paper (usually while diligently NOT paying attention to math teachers 🤣), which I’d color. These were geometric shapes formed using the graph paper squares, resembling the Native American thunderbird symbology.

Or else I’d create a “scribble” drawing where I’d scribble on a blank piece of paper and color the resulting shapes to create an abstract art piece. Even into my adult years, I’d do these scribble drawings, especially when I was bored or stressed.

From Child’s Play to Soulful Creation

I was taught coloring was a fun activity (for children) and wasn’t an artistic expression or outlet for adults. Like many of us, I had to overcome creative self-doubt and the belief that art was only for ‘real’ artists. The cultural belief and conditioning I had was that to be an artist, or creative, you needed to be a “fine artist” and paint with oil paints or draw freehand. Watercolors, like crayons or colored pencils, were for children, not “true” artists.

From those early days of coloring, I always wanted to be an “artist.” I took an oil painting class and did my one and only still life oil painting. I didn’t like the mess—or the smell—of oil paints or how long it took for the paint to dry to work on the next layer or stage.

But my heart and soul kept insisting that I was an “artist,” not just a creative. I’d assuage this desire by saying I painted with words rather than pigments or paints. Even so, I spent a small fortune on painting, drawing, and art books and art supplies, hoping that this time I’d “get it” and figure out how to draw.

Awakening the Artist Within

Fast forward to about a decade ago when adult coloring books started to become a thing. Now, instead of 64 colors of crayons, I could buy 72 colors of markers or even more in colored pencils!! What amazing joy to have so many colors to choose from! My inner child was so happy and my creative spirit sighed in relief. It was as if the Universe was nudging me toward awakening my inner artist.

A coloring book I bought included some mandala drawings, and I discovered how much I loved coloring them. It took me back to my days of secretly drawing Thunderbirds and doing Scribble drawings with their geometric and organic shapes.

But now, YouTube videos existed, and I could see the drawing process. I bought a sketch pad, dug out my pencils, and tried to draw—again—with limited success.

Healing Through Art and Self-Expression

Around the same time, a friend told me about Neurographica, which is a type of art that connects to your subconscious and reprograms your neurons. It’s very similar to my old scribble drawing, but takes you to a much deeper level of transformation. They are a good way to shift your mindset, and this technique is now another tool in my self-transformation toolkit.

One of the first neurographica drawings I did was to open to my artistic self and embrace it. Right after doing that drawing, and because I love coloring mandalas, I went down the rabbit hole of learning how to draw them.

I watched a ton of YouTube and Instagram videos on how to draw mandalas the traditional way, with a compass and protractor. Within a week of doing the neurographica, I drew my first mandala.

Then I drew more. I was hooked!

Art became a tool for healing and transformation—each mandala a conversation between my soul and my creativity.

A breakthrough for me came when I was practicing various petal designs and wanted to draw a paisley. Suddenly, the paisley on my page took on the shape of a swan. I searched for a YouTube video on “how to draw a swan.” And I did it! I drew a swan that not only looked like a swan, but one I liked, which I combined with a mandala. (The Goddess Freya was super happy when I added roses to it.)

This creative awakening showed me that art doesn’t have to be perfect. It only has to be honest.

A Creative Awakening in Full Color

Soon after, I discovered digital drawing, and my art world exploded open.

In the past year-and-a-half, I have drawn over 160 mandalas, plus several other art pieces. I love drawing them digitally because I can adjust and change them as my intuition flows. When I start drawing a mandala, I don’t have a plan or idea about what I’m going to do. I simply allow my pen to move across the digital page, then play with what appears. I fall into a state of stillness. There’s just me and the mandala. I’m present in the moment, and my worries fall away while I’m drawing. With the digital medium, if I don’t like something, I can erase it or start that layer again. And when I’m done, I can go back and clean up lines and mistakes, which you can’t do when drawing with pencil and ink.

An added benefit of digital drawing is that I also have a drawing I can share with others for them to have fun coloring. My friend loves coloring my mandalas while editing her podcast.

It’s so fun to see how they turn out and how different they look from what I color with other colors or using other mediums.

An added benefit of digital drawing is that I also have a drawing I can share with others for them to have fun coloring. My friend loves coloring my mandalas while editing her podcast. It’s so fun to see how they turn out and how different they look from what I color with other colors or using other mediums.

When I’m drawing, I’m not in a conscious state, so I’m not fully aware of what exactly I’ve drawn. It amazes me how much detail is in the mandalas when I color them or see how others have colored them.

I’m so happy adult coloring has become a thing! Now I can have coloring parties with my daughter and grandkids, who love coloring my mandalas with me.

I paint with words… and I paint with colored pencils, watercolors, and digital paint.

What has your soul been whispering to you that you don’t believe is true? Your soul knows! That doubt you feel? It’s simply conditioning and narratives society and/or your family has told you that isn’t true. I invite you to take a step and do “THE THING.” I know it’s scary as hell. But you’ve got this! Take a deep breath, throw back your shoulders, and believe in yourself. You can do it!

There’s a reason you have this dream and desire. Listen to your soul. There’s something amazing inside of you waiting to be awakened.

What has your soul been whispering to you? Maybe it’s time to listen—and begin awakening your inner artist, one color, one line, one act of creation at a time.

P.S. I have an adult coloring book, Tora’s Mystical Mandalas Vol 1, with 50 of these original designs. It’s only available from my store, Tora’s Mystical Emporium.

While testing the premium paper I wanted to use for the coloring book, I printed several copies of a design and asked friends and family to color it. They used different mediums such as: alcohol markers, water-based markers, and colored pencils. I wanted to make sure the paper produced not only a beautiful result, but made the process enjoyable. I love how different and unique each person’s mandala turned out!